Open letter: To the person that never tried

September 25, 2018

 

Dear person that never tried.

 

It's been a long time since I last spoke to you, let alone saw you.  I wonder if you ever think about me?  I'll be honest, I almost forgot you existed until I started planning out these letters.

 

I hope you're still doing what you wanted to do when I knew you.  I know you were working hard to get there so I can't imagine you will have stopped, unless something drastic has happened.  But I guess I will never know.

 

Are you happy?  I am.  I'm the happiest I have been since I was a child.

 

So, I met someone.  He wasn't like those others I was with when we knew each other.  He's nice.  He looks after me.  Something they never did.  Something you never did either now I think about it.  But he is so perfect, that I married him.  Now we are living in our own home with two cats and a rabbit, having the best time in the world.  Did you ever meet anyone?  I hope you did.

 

I remember that time that you phoned me late at night just because you wanted to talk to me.  I was trying to be quiet as I didn't want to wake my family.  You said I had a cute laugh.  And that made me laugh more.  No one had ever said anything was 'cute' about me before.

 

One day, I thought.  One day I'll understand what you're thinking.  But I never found out.  You just stopped talking to me.  When I was being manipulated, all I wanted was for you to come back, like you had done so many times before, so I could escape.  But you never did.  I was scared and you weren't there.   I felt abandoned, and I felt forgotten.

 

I guess I still do feel forgotten, but I can't say it bothers me now.  It hasn't done for a while, like I said - I had almost forgotten you existed.

 

But you never tried.  I suppose I was never important enough for you to try.  I thought at one point that I was important to you, especially when you text me those three little words.  Words that are so powerful - as long as they come from the right person.  But you weren't the right person.  And you never said or even hinted towards it again.

 

Maybe you were drunk, maybe it was a moment of weakness on your part.  But then you gave up.

 

And do you know what?  I'm glad you did.  I might never have met my soulmate or been living the life I live.  I might never have met my girls.  And the thought of that upsets me.

 

I hope you're happy and looking after yourself.  I'm looking after me.

 

Emma

 

P.S. I don't miss you.

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